madeleine

madeleine deirdre... my lovely daughter... the last of our children graduated from high school today... after a number of years of struggle, depression and sadness, finally, maddie was given this gift... the knowledge she persevered and reached a place of celebration...a spot that was good. throughout her life as a family we have encountered many difficult times ... as i reflect on her experiences within our family [cancer, death, job loss were just a few] i find myself drawn to wondering how to 'be with' another in suffering and in the sadness of their story i know that with madeleine the terror of what was happening sometimes caused all of us to leave her behind thinking as we did that she was too young to absorb such grief not knowing that as we grieved she was soaking up our sorrow.
so i wonder... as we are partners with others in their grief what is it we might miss? do we miss their physical needs as we turn our attentions to the words spoken...do we forget them as we consider the grave nature of what is happening...do we miss those sitting on the edges of grief not sure of what to do... how can we be mindful of our own need to grieve and still not lose madeleine...
i wrote this some time ago as i was meditating on my beautiful madeleine at the time of her graduation...i see now how she has been refining herself and her world to include sorrow but also joy and determination and conversation in a way that is so uniquely hers